Good Bye

Why oh why are good-byes so hard. This week is not going to be an easy week at all for me. I have spent the past three years of my life being a nanny for a precious little girl. I am going to miss her like something out of this world. I know I will still keep in touch with the family but it will not be the same. I will not be a part of her everyday life like I have been for 3yrs. I have traveled with this family. Oh my goodness just typing this out makes me cry!!! I am just going to do a list of things I am going to miss so I never ever forget our time together.

1. I am going to miss going to the bank with her on Monday mornings when I deposit my check. We, always get blue lollipops that turn our lips and tongues blue. Then, we chase each other around the house pretending to be blue monsters. I was so sad today knowing it was my last time I would ever do that with her.

2. I am going to miss her telling me at random times "you are the best nanny ever."

3. I am going to miss her random hugs and kisses through out the day.

4. I will miss picking her up from school and being so excited to tell me everything that happened.

5. I will miss teaching her things and the excitement she gets to show her parents what she learned in "school time" that day.

6. I am going to miss all the mom's that I have made friends with through the various different playgroups we have been a part of through the years.

7. I am going to miss playing pirates, bug tea party, monsters, aliens, and board games with her.

These, are just a few things I am going to miss. I will be praying for her as she makes the transition into all day school in the fall.

"Blog World"

I love the "blog world" and reading blogs. I will admit that I get really attached to a lot of the stories and families whose blogs I read. If someone does not update for a few days I wonder if everything is ok with that family.

I was telling someone a few weeks ago about Stellan from "mycharmingkids" and her response to me was "wow, you have a huge heart of compassion." She, thought it was amazing that I had so much love for a child and family that I did not even "know." She, then went on to tell me that I would be a great candidate for adopting a child since I have so much love and compassion for a child that I do not even know. She, told me that just talking to me about the child I work for and hearing me talk about Stellan. She, said "your future children are going to be so blessed to have you as a mother." It really just brought tears to my eyes because I guess I do not see those things in myself. I just feel it is who I am and do not really think about it. At, times when I lose my patience with certain things I wonder if I have the patience to be a mother. I guess the old saying is true "you are your worst enemy."

I think the "blog world" really makes the world a smaller place. I know when I was engaged and my wedding day was coming up. I was venting about some stuff on an old blog of mine. A girl that read my blog offered to help me with my invitations. So, we met up to do my invitations and she happened to know someone on my guest list. We, are best friends to this day and I do not know what my life would be without her as a part of it. She, and her husband are both amazing christian people and fun to do things with. When, people ask how we met it is like "we met on the internet through a blog." I feel the blog world brings people together from all walks of life. I think it is amazing that so many people from around the world are praying for Stellan and various other children whose parents have blogs.

I mean how comforting to know that you can have a prayer request and put it out in the blog world and have people from all over praying for your situation. Being in the blog world really renews my faith in the world just a bit.

I hope everyone has a blessed week.

Simple Life

Michael and I currently do not have internet at home anymore. (I am typing this from the computer at my grandparents house. ) We, have been really looking at ways to cut back on our monthly expenses on things we really do not need. So, Bellsouth made us mad for the million and one time so we said fine and had the service disconnected. At times I do miss it but it really is not the end of the world. I can use the internet at my grandparents house, library, or on my Iphone. I know that we will have to get it back again in January when Michael goes back to school for his masters but for now it is not that bad. We, are also currently thinking of getting rid of DirectTV but our contract is not up yet. I mean really I know I just watch mostly reality tv trash and I can use a detox for all the crap that I watch on tv. We, do blockbuster online and could just continue to get movies from there or we are looking into Netflix because it is cheaper. If you ever want to get a laugh tell someone you do not have internet at home and are thinking of getting rid of tv. Oh the looks you get are hilarious!!!

I personally think those are things we can and will live even if we do not have them. I just think about how we can further God's kingdom with that money. That is money that could be used to buy groceries for someone in need or gas in someone's car so they can get to work. Heck, money we can put towards paying off a bill that we have.

I am personally excited about the things getting rid of them might for our marriage relationship and even our spiritual relationship. I personally see us spending more time talking, do yard work, reading, etc... just using our time better than sitting in front of the tv or computer.

Christian Witness

I have nannied for a family now for 3yrs that are not Christians and do not believe at all. I will be leaving this family in a few short weeks because the little girl is going to school. As the time keeps going by so quickly I wonder if I have done my part in being a Christian Witness to them. I look at things I might could have done and things I could have done better. I personally feel that I have failed since the family still does not have faith.

I have done bible study work at there house while she is having her "Disney Movie" down time in the afternoons and Piper has always had an interest in what I am doing. I try to explain things to her on her level and she wanted a Bible for her so I had a children's bible in our house from my days of teaching Sunday School and I plan on giving it to her when I leave. I am going to write a special message in it to her from me.

The one thing the Mother told me a couple of months ago that will probably stick with me forever was that one night Piper was in her room not going to sleep and just talking. So, her mother went in the room and asked her what she was doing and she said "I am talking to God like Nanny Courtney does." I might not have made an impact on the parents but that let me know that I have planted that tiniest seed in her life.

I will still always wonder if I did what God intended for me to do as a witness to this family.

God's Will

I am in a bible study with a few other women from our church. We, just started a new study this week that I am super excited about. It is a Women of Faith Book and it is the "Knowing God's Will For Your Life." I am really ready to dive deep into this study and prayer because I am at a huge crossroads in my life right now. I honestly for the first time in my life have know clue what I am doing.

I have been a nanny for many many years now. The little girl I now nanny for will be doing to an all day pre-k 4 program in the fall. So, there goes my job!! I have been with this family for 3yrs now and I truly love the little girl and her family. Piper just melts my heart with the sweet things she says to me on a daily basis.

My will for my life at this point would have been to be pregnant!!! I just assumed I would be pregnant before or right up until I left them. Well, that has not happened so I am having to come up with a "Plan B." Which, it really is not a "plan b" because I feel had I been in God's word I would probably have more direction than what I do now.

So, I am really excited about learning about God's will and praying for God's will for my life. I know that everything is in God's hands and in his time. He knows the desires of my heart but might have other things he wants me to experience before becoming a mother. I know I have a lot to learn and ways to improve in the wife catgory.

Oh, and if you know of anyone that lives in my area that is in need of a nanny or knows someone I am looking!!!
Blessings,
Courtney

Michael

I know there are a lot of times in our marriage I have taken my husband for granted. I love him more than he will ever know. He works really hard to support us and is always there for me in prayer. Sometimes, he is not very vocal on us not having had a child yet but the other day he said something that really just hurt me. He said " I have never in my life failed at something so miserably." I really thought right then and there I was going to just start crying!!!

This weekend I spent Thursday and most of the day Friday scrapbooking with some friends from church and then there friends. I had a blast getting to know each of them better and just learning a lot from them. I LOVE to scrapbook and I have been behind the times for awhile now. Well, Wal-Mart had a great deal on the Cricut so my wonderful husband let me splurge and get one. I LOVE it!!! It took me a little over an hour but I have officially made my first sticker! I am so proud of myself and I cannot wait to see many more creations. I have almost completed all the beach pages from our trip last year. Then, I am going to start on the wedding album. It has been two years now so I figure it is time!!! If you cannot find me or do not hear from me for awhile I can assure you that I am using my new scrapbooking tools!!! Thanks ladies for all the good ideas. Thanks a million Honey for letting me get the stuff!!!

Oh, also when I can home last night. Michael had cleaned out the cat box, freezer, fridge, and picked up the living room. I am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful man!!!

Blessings,
Courtney

Random Tidbits

1. My mom, my friend Kat, and her mom all went and saw "The Proposal" the other night. I LOVED it. Probably, one of my favorite chick-flicks. I will be buying it on dvd when it comes out.

2. Piper now has her casts off!!! It is taking her some getting used to walking on her flat feet. She, told me yesterday that her feet feel funny. The surgery was a HUGE success though because no more tippy toes.

3. Kat is a nanny also and we took the kids to see a Puppet Show the other day and it is a puppet show really geared towards pre-school aged children. Well, half way through the show one of the puppets said "dumbest." I mean seriously was that totally necessary???

4. I scrapbooked last night with some awesome ladies from the church and various other places and it was a lot of fun. I have LOTS I can learn from them. My scrapbooks are so boring in comparison to there's.

5. I am SO ready for the beach!!! September cannot come soon enough.

Hope everyone has a very blessed 4th of July.